So here is where I stand as far as remakes go. I kinda liked the original texas chainsaw massacre, but didn’t grow up with it, so the remake was a big improvement for me. It got that the horror should be real and uncomfortable and gross, not just literally, but in every way. I thought the Hitcher was a great little thriller from the 80’s no one had seen before. I thought the remake was almost shot for shot which came off as lazy and lame, but it was still a shot for shot remake of a pretty decent little 80’s thriller, so I liked it. I thought the Amityville horror was a VERY dated but effective haunted house movie. I thought the remake was GOD AWFULE!!!!! It’s interesting to note that all of these films are made from the same studio. Platinum dunes. Headed up by “my name is Michael bay and I made bad boys one and two and Armageddon and Pearl Harbor and the rock and the island and transformers and therefore am richer than you ever will be” Michael bay. In short it’s been pretty hit or miss. Well, count this as a tepid hit.
The first 20 minutes of the movie are very, very bad ass. There is a LOT of really funny jokes, and a LOT of really tense, atmospheric scares, and finally some short but rough gore. Then, literally 20 minutes in, the titles finally come up and the movie proper starts. What follows is a surprisingly ho hum plot thread about some kids going out to get drunk, and another kid going out to find his missing sister (from the pre title killing spree) . Thankfully, and uncharacteristically the characters are all pretty funny and appealing in a lame story. My Bloody Valentine (which I preferred in pretty much every way) had the opposite problem. ANYWAY, Jason kills and people die. Yadayadayada.
The one thing you are either going to love or hate is that this is not a bleak, realistic, killing spree kind of movie. This movie is a stoner comedy with horror. Its pineapple express with scream thrown in for good measure. It’s not all that gory, but it never really tries to be. There IS a lot of pot in the movie. And a lot of boobies. However nothing in this movie comes close to the sheer brilliance of the “truck stop “I’m not a slut” sequence from Bloody Valentine. So in short, you WILL laugh, and you MIGHT be scared. Either way it IS very entertaining, and I think the unrated (reportedly 17 minutes were cut out!!!) DVD will pack a MUCH better punch. I was not disappointed. But there is still a LOT of room for improvement. I guess there’s always the sequel…..
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