you can DRAG ME TO HELL any day of the week if it's gonna be this much fun!

So DRAG ME TO HELL was a really wild ride. Is it an amazing film? True, it does not reach the dramatic heights of say, this years Star Trek. However, in its defense it doesn’t shoot for the stars. It doesn’t even go for the moon. It goes for the jugular and never let’s go. Sam Raimi, who’s made a living off of spider man films, got his start in low rent horror with the Evil Dead franchise. If you have experienced those films, you won’t need to read this review, because you’re already in line to see it. If you haven’t, you’re a lesser person for it. He returns to his roots here, and proves he still knows how to control audience’s emotions when in regards to fear and laughs.

A loans officer at a bank is vying for an assistant manager position and in order to get it must make the “hard decisions.” In comes a creepy and deliciously over the top Gypsy. Yes, as in the hunchback of Notre dame, the wolf man, or, um, Stephen kings “thinner.” the poor gypsy named Mrs. Ganush is pretty upset about the fact that she can’t stay in her house anymore, and obviously our pool little loans officer must pay…With her soul. That is literally all the set up or plot that there is. And frankly that takes up a lot more time that could have been spent on the horrors our heroin must endure for three days before, as is legend, she will be dragged to hell, by the curse the gypsy puts on her.
This movie is concerned with two simple things. to make you jump out of your seat, and to make you laugh. There is not one moment wasted on anything other than one of those things. An early parking lot brawl starts off creepy, goes to full blown scary, then suddenly turns into a loony tunes cartoon (wait for the staple to the eye!!) And that one scene properly sets up the entire film. Every sequence starts with suspense, goes for the cheap shock, and then delves into sick dark humor.
No lie, there is a scene involving haunted pots and pans that I jumped out of my seat at, then could not stop laughing at. It was so much fun. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, the film goes for broke, throwing everything at you including the kitchen sink. Well, they leave that one item out, but a handkerchief has never been so menacing. Oh, and did I tell you there was a talking goat? There is. And a séance scene that just keeps topping itself with more ludicrous poltergeist shenanigans (was that possessed man dancing in mid air?) OH, and how could I forget the death by anvil! That’s right, an anvil, tied to a rope, tied to a pulley, with anvil looming overhead, and a pair of ice skates present to save the day. It’s like a live action road runner cartoon, with a lot more goo.

The film is only pg-13 and deserves the rating. However, there is a LOT of phlegm, snot, ooz, bugs, and vomit thrown around. I was more grossed out than I was during some other R rated gore moments. The difference here is it’s all in fun. The move doesn’t dwell on depravity; it delights in grossing us out, or making us jump. It makes scary movies fun again. I can not recommend this thing enough. It’s the best thing to see with a large group of people, and hear everyone squeal and squirm at every turn. And it’s also reassuring to hear them laughing just like you after the movie delivers yet another effective “gotcha” moment. If I had any complaints I’d say it’s not long enough. I could have put up with another 30 minutes of this sucker. Also, Alison Lohman looks and sounds as though she’s 12. I know she’s actually in her 20’s, but a loan officer? I feel she should be asking me to drive her to the prom. The Mac guy is also in it as her caring boyfriend. But it’s Allison’s show, and she’s in almost every scene taking one hell of a beating. It’s the kind of movie you walk out and argue with your friends about which scene was better. For me it was the fate of the kitten sequence. I wont spoil it, but lets just say that a film that off’s a 7 year old before the opening titles is obviously not playing by the rules. And Raimi has so much fun breaking them all. I had a blast with this film, and will be seeing it again.